I never get very personal on the blog and today–I feel like sharing something with you about something that I have been going through.
After having my youngest child about 20 months ago, my doctor decided that he thought I was suffering from depression. I was happy to be a mom but for some reason I was having the worse crying spells, I grew extremely anxious about things and could not handle the everyday stress of life.
My doctor finally diagnosed me with postpartum depression. For some reason, the term depression really hit me hard. I felt that depression was almost a bad word that wasn’t spoken–and when it was, people instantly thought bad about you.
I was put on an antidepressant about 3 months after giving birth. This helped my moods greatly and gave me a different sense of life. I was happy again, able to venture out and the happiness came back.
Please know that I am not encouraging anyone to stop taking medications. You should always consult your doctor before deciding to stop. I was given the go ahead from my doctor because he felt it was time.
About 2 weeks ago, I made the decision that I no longer wanted to be dependant on the medication and was ready to experience my life with out it. While I was really excited about this–I also didn’t relize the chemical dependancy that my body had on it. My doctor explained to me the repercussions of stopping the medication and how I would probably suffer from withdrawls. He explained several different kinds–and to be honest, I didn’t quite understand what he meant by this. withdrawls? Like something a drug addict feels?
Doesn’t sound like it could happen to me.
So it began. I actually thought I was just going to stop the medication all together–thinking that I could stop and everything would be ok. I was wrong.
I started feeling withdrawls almost instantly. Nausea,head aches, dizzy spells, mood swings– and it was bad. Nothing I could really prepare myself for. Over the next couple of days I felt as though all I could do–or even WANTED to do, was lay in bed.
I have been back and forth to the doctor the last couple of days hoping that he can help me. The only way to stop the side effects–is to continue back on the medication–or pull through.
So the last day or so–I have been feeling better. I can say that for the most part–most symptoms are gone. But here I am. Happy about my decision but it has put a huge strain on my family. George was providing as much comfort as he could–but I feel bad for the things I may have had him experience the last few days.
To be honest–I went back and forth about writing this. But I felt it was only fair for you all to know why I haven’t been so persistant with emails and deal posting. I have had some helpers over the last couple of days–so I can still get the deals to you. I hope to be back to normal soon–and I plan to feel better than ever 
My Name is Josie and I live in sunny Southern California and I am a stay at home mom to three beautiful boys. We all know that living in California is a task of it's own and saving in California IS possible! I started this blog mainly to share all the awesome deals out there and show others how to save in any area of life. Even though you may make the commitment to be frugal and pinch your pennies doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice!
Thank you for sharing something so personal. I am sure you may even help a person or two out there by sharing your story. Please remember, you are not alone, there are others of us out here who have gone through or are going through the same thing! I hope you are feeling better very soon
I’ve been there. Not after having a baby, but depression is hard. I hope you feel better. If you can suffer another few days you’ll get through it. Smile and thing of all your blessings
thanks for your honesty, we all appreciate you
I know EXACTLY what you are going through! I am on antidepressents also, and have tried to go off also. But for me, it is worth it to stay on them and be able to be positive for my boys. Without them I am always yelling at them and crying. I have noticed now that my oldest picked up on my negative “attitude” and now I am having to break him of my bad examples. Stay strong and make sure you do whatever it takes to feel happy and healthy. And dont worry about all of us, we will be here for you and will help you through anything! Its the least we can do for all you do for us
I pray God bless you for your transparency and desire to be free of the medication. I truly believe MANY will be blessed as a result of your openess. These battles are not to be fought alone. Now that you have overcome any shame or guilt that the disease imposes by posting this, I for you, will be praying for you and your total restoration and joy.The depression holds power over us when we are silent and allow it to attack. The power table flips when we face it head on and allow others to join us in our fight. Bless you for your courage in posting. That is a victory.
I admire the courage it took to share your story. Depression is a battle many of us face on a daily basis. Please know that you are not alone. You do so much to help out and support all of our families – we’re happy to return that support to you ten-fold.
So sorry to hear you have had to go through this. I suffered something like it, but on the older side of life with menopause. I found that our hormones are usually really out of wack!! I am on bio-identical hormones (like Suzanne Sommers writes about) and it has really changed my life for the better. So, maybe you or some of the readers should consider getting their hormones checked too!! I love your blog and really enjoy getting to know you. Thank you.
Thank you for being strong enough to share. As much as we would like to think you are a coupon breathing machine, we know you are just like us. HUMAN! We’ve all have been there in some sort of way! Hang in there. =)
You are such an awesome woman – thank you for sharing a part of your personal life with us! I too, suffer from depression and anxiety – some days I don’t want to leave the house at all. I have been meds for a year and my doctor has decreased my dosage, and hopefully I’ll be off the meds next year. I commend you on stopping the meds – I would like to stop as well, but I really don’t like the icky feeling when I miss a day let alone trying to do it cold turkey.
Keep being the awesome woman and mother that you are – you are not alone!
I’m there, too, Josie. Except I know I’ll never be off the meds since depression/anxiety is genetic for me. I applaud you for getting off them! Withdrawal sucks, but you can do it! Hang in there, friend. Take all the time you need. You’re in my prayers.
Kate (www.deliciousaspie.blogspot.com)
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve been there and know how hard it is for you and your family. Hang in there and I’m sure everything is going to be ok.
Thanks for sharing this Josie. I just had my third child and have noticed that I am a wreck. I think that I am going to consider medication for now at least.
Thank-you for sharing your story. I had post-partum depression after the birth of my now 18 month old. I was on meds for 6 months. when I decided to go off, it took me a good 10 days for the withdrawals to go away. It was really really terrible. But you can pull through this. I did and I know you can too. God bless you.
Hi Josie,
Thank u for sharing, As mentioned above u are not alone. I struggle with anxiety/panic attacks and it has truly been a battle. I have also opt to stop medication and there are some days where my panic attacks are so bad I feel like I am going to die, but I am sticking to my decision to stay off the meds. God is good. trust in him and he will get you through this. God bless u Josie and your family as well. Thank u for all u do here. It has been a blessing to my family and many others.
Monica
I too have been there. Both before and after child birth. I’ve also been there for the cold turkey withdrawals. wowee! That was a CRAZY time. Hang in there! You have so much love and support flooding your way from your readers. All that good energy has got to make a difference. You can do this and, if you decide to continue with the meds, there’s nothing wrong with that either. Take care of yourself. Be happy. Love your hubby and little guys. They obviously love you tons!
I hope you feel better. Your story is very inspiring for many people. I think you have lots of courage to do what you do. I also think that expressing your feelings is a great way to heal. Thanks for sharing your story.
I hope this does not encourage anyone to stop taking their meds just because they want to or think they feel better.
I am not encouraging anyone to stop taking medications. I was given my doctors consent as would encourage people to wait and do the same.
I hope you feel better. I can only imagine what you must be going through but know that there are people around to help and good thoughts are out there for you!
Good for you. I’ve been on Effexor for a few years and made the choice 2 weeks ago to get off. Withdrawal has been horrendous. Headaches, tummy troubles, dizzy and brain zaps. I’m down to half the dose and pushing through. My doc never told me about the withdrawal symptoms when she prescribed the meds. I’m proud of you, not an easy thing to kick and then sharing your story. Thanks.
Thanks for all you do. I’m praying for you! Jerimiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” His plan is perfect! Thanks for being so transparent.
_
Thank you for sharing your story. Please know that your site is what gave me a reason to look forward to living life again after a failed infertility treatment. I started couponing with the help of your site. My grandma used to say “It has to get worse before it gets better”, and somehow that holds truth. One day you’ll wake up and start feeling like yourself again; it’s just a matter of time
I’ve been there. My son was in the NICU and had horrific colic. There were some days I had to force myself out of bed sobbing. I went on meds when he was three months old and it got me out of it. Just hang in there! I am glad you shared. More women need to speak up so that no one suffering from PPD feels alone.
I am assuming that you are gradually decreasing your dose over a period of time? All psychotropic medication has to be gradually decreased, you can’t quit cold turkey without terrible side effects.
Yes April, I am slowly taking smaller doses. I couldn’t imagine quitting cold turkey!
You may want to try St Johns Wort. My Dr suggested it for pre menapausal symptoms & ive found it to really help. Its frequently used in Europe en lieu of anti depressant medications. She swore by Rite Aids brand which is what ive used. Hope you feel better soon.
Thank you Alisa! I think I’m headed to Rite Aid first thing in the morning!!
@Maria –
Stupid, stupid comment.
I think that it is brave of you to share your story and wish you all the best. Hang in there and remember that you are not alone!!
Get well josie and I commend you for being such a strong willed person. Sometimes its just easier to take something to dull the pain, but to deal with it head on takes a very courageous person! It just goes to show the type of role model your young family has to follow! God Bless you and i hope you continue to share stuff that comes up. It just lets your readers now how lucky we might be and to remind us that we all have our hard times. Happy Holidays!
thanks for sharing. i think many of us have experienced this in life be it post postpartum or otherwise. you’re not alone and have encouraged us. =) i hope you’ll be back to where you want to be soon. thanks for all you do.
Praying for you and your family…you will get through this! Take care of yourself… Thanks for all that you do Josie.
Have a wonderful Christmas and wishing you the best in this upcoming new year!
Josie we hope you start to feel better. If you were to post that you are going to take a break from your blog to get better we would understand. You have to remember your health and your family should come first. I would rather pay full price for everything then to know you are not feeling well. So don’t feel like you owe us anything just take care of your self.
Thank you Steve
I have a wonderful helper who is doing some posting for me–she makes it so easy for me during this time!
I’m glad that you are getting the word out there. Many people suffer from the same thing but are often too embarrassed to say they are suffering from the same thing. God Bless you and your family. Hope it gets better and easier to work through. This just shows what a strong individual you are.
@Josie –
I am thinking of you! Glad to hear you are ramping down. I had a friend who quit cold turkey without knowing about gradually decreasing and it was awful. I’m so sorry that your symptoms are so bad. I hope you start to feel better soon! Keep us posted.
Josie I know that although we all love and appreciate the site you and your family come first. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is let some stuff go for a while. My thoughts and prayers are with you to get through all this and find yourself in a better place.
the bottle says take 1 a day but I take 2 (per my dr). Only takes a week or two to feel a difference.
Thank you for sharing. Your strength in being able and willing to put yourself out there in such a personal way is extremely admirable and most definitely helping others. The people here love and appreciate all you do for us and of course want your health, family and well being to come first! Good luck in this trying time, it is especially brave taking such a big step over the holidays–yikes. May you come through it and be all the better for it. Happy holidays and all the health, love and happiness that you can handle for the new year:)
Dear Josie, Thank you for sharing your story. I will say an extra prayer for you tonight. The same thing happened to my sister after her third child and she was put on meds as well. She did not want to be on them so she decided to get acupuncture instead. Acupuncture and herbal teas the doctor gave her to drink completely healed her. Take care Josie! I wish you all the best!
Thank you for sharing. I am not strong enough to accept the term “postpartum depression”, and pretend to have a happy face when I go see my ob. She referred me to a psychiatrist and I told her I would go, but I haven’t… and it’s been a year. Anyway, thanks for sharing.
I had such a hard time accepting it too Yuri. There are also more natural ways of dealing with it–such as seeking counselling. It makes a world of difference to be able to talk to someone about how you feel.
This may sound a little funny, and is only intended for those who have commented here that have not visited there docs or psychiatrists yet…remember all that free estroven we all snagged at Wags this year? All the ingredients are natural stress relievers. I have found that I feel a little calmer when I take them. I started taking them for pms only a few days during the month. I know they’re supposed to be for pre menopause but I’m finding them useful when I’m feeling extra agitated, stresses, or a little bit down. You all probably have some in your stock pile. Wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. Research the ingredients, you’ll see. It’s great and all natural.
Big hugs to you. It’s hard to share something so personal, but it helps others to know they aren’t alone in their struggles. Thank you so much for all you do for us. Take some time and take care of yourself. I hope you have an absolutely wonderful Christmas with your family!!
I’ll be praying for you to feel better soon! I admire your sharing this with all of us. We all appreciate what you do for us here, and wish there was something we could do to help you in return
Many blessings to you and your family.
All the time I’m thinking to myself, “How does she do all this with three kids?” I make having one look hard. I think you are a pretty amazing and talented person, so please don’t beat yourself up. Maybe some good family time and not so much work will help. I’ll add you to my prayers.
Oh Hun we hope for the best and warmest wishes to you. You are strong in every aspect. I never met you but I can tell you are. Sometime you just have to cry and scream but everything will be alright. You children and husband will understand. I find it helpful to call a friend. That’s how I got thought it. I remember the screaming (once) the ridiculous type and I felt so guilty. I catch myself and corrected it immediately. Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of yelling but that ONE I know was out of line. Well enough of my blah blah…. Stay strong! Call me if you need to talk. I m a
ALL ears …lol
Thank you Josie for sharing this- not only have you assisted yourself in the helping process but as you can see above, you have helped many others as well. When I had my youngest, my doctor recommended I go back to work and then if that didn’t work – meds. Luckily I didn’t have to get on meds but the aftermath of depression and anxiety are all the same. No matter what – remember this… God loves you and just as much as you love your kids and hubby through the good and the bad, they love you too. Right your wrongs..apologize when you notice you’ve went too far – even if its 20days after…apologize. It goes a long way and your family knows it really not you but the “let down” of the meds. Its a process but know when you are weak – God is made strong. Let HIM do His job and take care of you and be your God when you need Him most.
Blessings to you and the family. I know how passionate you are about your blog and the information you share with us just from your posts, but your compassion and love for life and what you do shines through just as much in person. Hang tight and PLEASE never feel you are alone. I know I can say for us all – “you’ve got a friend in me”.
Thank you for sharing! More people need to talk about this.
Thanks for sharing. It’s always helpful to know others’ experiences.
Hang in there. Thank you for your honesty and bravo to you for the courage to share your personal struggles. Know you are supported and loved. Thanks for all you do for us. I know it must be a ton of work in addition to raising your children the best way you know how and being fully present in your marriage which are also both full time jobs(I think honestly we all struggle with this
) Sometimes all it takes is the tincture of time. Only you know what is best for you, listen to your heart…
Dear Josie, I applaud your courage to share with your readers and your strength to get through this tough time – though I’m sure you don’t feel very strong right now. As someone who has suffered from clinical depression off and on for most of my life, I sympathize with you. Changing or getting off of medication is very hard on the body. Please know there is nothing to feel shame for – it was a chemical shortage in your brain coupled with pregnancy/birth hormones, and had nothing to do with your worth as a woman, a wife, a mother, a person! Take good care of yourself and know you are valued.
@Josie – Josie, make sure to ask your dr before adding St John’s Wort- I read something recently that herbs can interfere with meds so best to be cautious, you know? I am sure Alisa you were trying to be helpful- thank you!!
We really do love you Josie- you are a blogger that I really look up to! I believe you have a tremendous amount of integrity and I can always count on you to be honest and ethical, so thank you for being a leader!
I tried meds before but they put me to sleep- altho I am now post meno which has brought a ton of other symptoms which have been a struggle- physical changes [not just weight loss and hot flashes tho- I am losing my hair which has been difficult to wrestle with, have joint pain, etc.]
You and your family are in my prayers (((Josie))). Bless you this holiday season and all throughout the year!!
Hi DS~ At first I thought the same thing- and I bet the statement was well intended, it’s just always nice to comment on the positives first don’t you think- like thanking Josie and congratulating her on all that she’s done- then offering the other comment…..just my 2 cents here.
A big Congratulations to you! You have great perserverience and strength, I am so proud of you! You have done a wonderful thing for many people with your bloging deals but yet it is sooooo important that you put yourself and your family FIRST. I think I speak for the majority of us in saying take some time for yourself and your family. Enjoy them and relax for a couple of weeks, we will all still be here when you get back.
I love seeing what you post everyday, I check your blog at least 4 times a day, but you have to keep your priorities in order. We should come last. I have found that it is very easy to get addicted to couponing and let other more important things go by the wayside. I can only imagine what it must be like to try and keep up with the kids and family responsibilities and blog at the same time. You have done a wonderful job at both. Thank you for all you do and I wish you a very Mery Christ-mas.
I worked in a psych hospital for 4 years and through working with those clients have seen much of the good and bad that can happen with psychotropic medications.
Did your doc not give you an option to taper off on these? There are often very real physical side-effects to stopping meds, and it does not sound to me like your doctor provided you with the full picture of what may happen. If your symptoms were fully under control since you are well post-partum now there should have been a long-term care plan with ending the medication as the end goal.
And as a final note: it is a chemical imbalance. Just like diabetes: but no one judges people who take insulin. Big hugs to you for being brave and putting it out there.
I am tapering off
I am taking smaller doses every week until I eventually have no more.
Please just check with your doctor first about taking it. Even herbals can have side effects and would hate to have you compound what you are going through. Thank you for your courage to share and I pray your get feeling better soon.
Josie *big hugs to you girly* I hope in the days to come you continue to feel better!
Josie, I went through exactly the same thing after I had my second child way back in 1987. I too took an anti-depressant and felt much better for it. I eventually stopped taking it, as you have, but I wanted to tell you that there’s no shame in taking medication for any condition whether physical or emotional. Diabetics have to take insulin. People with high blood pressure take medication. It’s just not a big deal and if you find yourself needing to go back on the meds, just do it. It’s okay to be chemically dependent on something that makes you feel better. Good luck to you and I hope you feel better very soon! Merry Christmas and a Happy 2012!
Hi Josie first of all I want to THANK YOU for all you do. Being a mom, wife and dealing with life everyday is hard. You are an amazing woman for sharing your story with us. We are no one to judge you we all have struggles of our own. I have many members of my family that struggle with depression and all I can do is be there and listen and pray with them. I will pray for you and ask the Lord to help you. Went im fight battles of my own I love to read this: “I can do all things through Christ who streghthens me.” phil. 4:13
Hi Josie – thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I have been through the same exact thing, so I know how you feel! It also helps a lot to share your story with others and know that you’re not the only one. I was diagnosed with post partum depression after I had my son 3 years ago. It’s hard to hear someone say you’re depressed, I felt like I failed or did something wrong, you know? My old doctor put me on an anti-depressant – which I was so afraid to take because I’ve never taken meds like this in my life! I didn’t think it would work either, but surprisingly it helped a lot. Since moving to CA I have a new doctor now, who is more of a natural doctor. She explained to me that we develop the post partum depression because our progesterone hormone doesn’t go back up to normal level after we deliver. She put me on a bioidentical progesterone capsule made from wild yam (its all natural and covered by insurances surprisingly!) and it’s helps SO MUCH! Now I’m in the process of coming very slowly off of the anti-depressant. I tried weaning once before with my previous doctor, but he took me off it within one month and I relapsed a month later. This time, I’m taking is SLOW and taking a natural supplement that works similar to the anti depressant – Ultra 5HTP. I just wanted to suggest to you that you may want to have your progesterone level checked and I really recommend taking the Ultra 5HTP formula while coming off of the anti depressant. It helps A LOT. You can easily purchase it off of amazon – Douglas Labs makes a good one, that’s the one I use. Just be sure to consult with your doctor beforehand – just in case.
My doctor is Dr. Angela Miller in Aliso Viejo (orangecountymedicalgroup.com) if you need more help with the PPD. She specializes in natural hormone therapy, which works hand in hand with the PPD. She is AMAZING, and will sit and listen to your needs. I’m not trying to sell anything, just a suggestion if you need =) and if you need to talk, please feel free to email me. You’ve helped me save so much money for my family, it’s the least that I could do! Best of luck to you, and keep smiling!
Thank you Rebecca! This is great because I have been talking to my doctor about a more natural approach just in case I need help with the tapering off part. I know that it will take sometime to be completely weaned from the medication but at this point–I really need something to help with the side effects. Thank you for the suggestion!